25-year-old boyfriend expects his girlfriend to be the "super woman" stay-at-home mom his mother was, she preemptively suggests they break up: 'I am absolutely not doing that'

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Briana Viser • Writer and Editor
Nov 4, 2025 12:00 PM EST

It's 2025, and there's a lot of pendulum swings in culture. Our grandparent's generation was strict, rigid, and full of rules about life trajectories. Our parents generation was certainly not as tough, but definitely fit into a mold. These days, it seems like there's not a straight path for anything. Some people still choose the path of monogamy, marriage, and children, and other's stay single and childless their whole lives. 

In the story here, it centers around a young couple. The boyfriend comes from a big family – really big. 13 children big. His mother is a hard working stay-at-home mom, she does everything for the family and everything for her husband. She does all the home tasks, and spends her whole life devoted to her family. The boyfriend expresses how he loves the home he grew up in, and his girlfriend immediately shut it down and told him that she will absolutely not be in that kind of role. She wants a career, a job, and doesn't want to be a stay-at-home mom. 

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  • 01

    Aitah for telling my bf I'm not going to be anything like his mom and if he expects that we should break up?

    Couple breaking up
    via Mixmike / Canva

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 02
    I am 24F my bf is 25M. This past week we flew to his home town, his grandma passed away and we flew there to stay for 4 days.
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  • 03
    I don't actually have anything bad to say about his mom, she is very sweet, warm, and welcoming. My
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  • 04
    bf is #5 of 13 children. The youngest is not even a year old yet. His family home is huge and
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  • 05
    very clean and everyone seemed great.
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  • 06
    The issue I have is she is and has always been a SAHM. While we were there she was constantly busy. She did everything.
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  • 07
    She basically streamlined his dad's life. He doesn't have to do really anything at home. She
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  • 08
    cooks, she cleans, she looks after the children. She even does his laundry and ironed everything.
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  • 09
    His dad really didn't do anything at all. Apparently she even takes care of the yard and gardens. All he does is maintenance. She also
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  • 10
    gets up before he does and makes his breakfast and lunch and gets everything ready for him so all he has to do is grab it and go.
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  • 11
    He said once the kids get old enough they have their own chores and stuff but she did a serious amount of work.
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  • 12
    His dad owns some sort of contractor business. As soon as he walked in the door after work there was food on the table and
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  • 13
    no one was allowed to eat until his dad sat down and ate his first bite and told his mom it was good. The meal she cooked was
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  • 14
    absolutely massive. There was enough food to feed an army she was cooking most of the evening. It was very good but holy crap it
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  • 15
    was a lot. I asked him if this was special because of the guests but apparently she always cooks
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  • 16
    enough to feed an army. Lunch was pretty much whatever was in the refrigerator you wanted. Breakfast was also a massive meal
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  • 17
    Stay at home mom
    via grinvalds / Canva

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 18
    I have no idea what time she got up but it was a big breakfast.
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  • 19
    The family did at least clean everything up so she didn't have to clean but holy crap I do not envy her.
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  • 20
    When we were on our way home my bf was talking about his family and basically saying how much he loved the way they live and I told
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  • 21
    him I am absolutely not doing that at all. I don't want to be a SAHM, I have a career I love. I absolutely will not be
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  • 22
    streamlining his life, I expect a basically 50/50 lifestyle. I'm not doing everything for him.
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  • 23
    He acted like he understood and said he didn't expect me to be exactly like his mother but he did
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  • 24
    expect me to be home more if we had children.
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  • 25
    I basically told him if he wants a SAHM we should break up and he can find someone else who feels the same.
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  • 26
    Now he is upset and basically told me he wanted some time. I haven't heard from him since Monday. I'm not sure what to do.
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  • 27
    Edit holy shit I was not expecting this to go sideways. I thought maybe 10 replies max. I just got off work. I'm so sorry.
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  • 28
    So to answer some questions
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  • 29
    The oldest 8 children are all adults. They do not live there. They were just there for the funeral.
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  • 30
    The funeral was for his paternal grandmother.
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  • 31
    I do not hate his family I just don't want to do that. They were all very nice.
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  • 32
    I believe his parents are happy. They seemed very affectionate toward each other.
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  • 33
    I have no idea how old his mother is or was when she started having children. I assume she is in her early 50s. She looked similar in age as my mom who is 53.
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  • 34
    I do believe this relationship is over. I agree we are incompatible. I plan to call and talk to him tonight.
    via u/Key-Adagio-793

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family drama drama family feud relationships lol couples love family breakup reddit thread Reddit funny dating
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